We're All Just a Bunch of Fruit

My dear friend Brandi sent this one to me last month, and I decided I liked it so much that it deserved a place here.

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to get. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked.

Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Happy stomping, those of you who have grapes. And for those of you who are still hanging around the top of the tree, be thankful. You could be rotting into a sodden mush on the ground, within easy reach of some sour grape.