'Tis the Night Before Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! It's almost 7:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve. I spent my afternoon making a huge pot of minestrone soup, which I'll freeze in batches to provide quick and healthy meals for myself in January (that's when I am determined to get back on the diet wagon, which I fell off of last month). I think I'm going to kick back and watch my favorite Christmas movie, "A Christmas Story" later on. I've seen it a million times, but it's always so much fun.

DZ and I have settled in nicely to our new home. She's still opening drawers, sometimes pulling all my socks out in the middle of the night. Don't know why, she never did that before. I now close my bedroom door when I leave in the mornings so she can't get in. And one night I heard her chewing on the tape that holds the plastic piece that closes off the open side of the end table where I keep my autographed Wu Bai stuff. She knows that's a huge no-no. I ran out of the bedroom yelling at her. She knew if I caught her she was in for a spanking, so she ran into the kitchen.
She jumped up on the stove, then up on the chrome rack, then on top of the bookcase - then she jumped up into the recessed lighting area! She started running around the whole room like she was on was a race track, meowing loudly. I swear, it was so damned funny, and I tried so hard not to laugh, because I was pissed at her! Oh jeez, I wish I'd been able to get video of it. I finally had to climb on the sofa and grab her when she went by to get her down. And yeah, she got her spanking. My Wu Bai stuff is sacred, thou shalt not touch it!

I have class tomorrow as usual, no Christmas holiday here. I'll go have lunch with Nat and Charlene after school, then I'll just come home and hang out with DZ. Wednesday a bunch of us are going to the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet for lunch, and that will be my Christmas celebration.

Next weekend I have four days off, but I'll need to spend a lot of that time preparing for my semester final, a written exam on Wednesday and an oral exam on Thursday. This happened last semester, had time off for Mid-Autumn Festival and spent the whole time studying! Grrr. And no week off after the semester ends on January 4, either. Because we get two weeks in February, we have to make up one of the weeks now, so it's back to class on Monday the 7th.

It's looking like Carol will definitely be coming for a visit in March! We'll meet up in Hong Kong for Wu Bai & China Blue's two concerts then she'll come back with me, maybe for a week (or longer?). I thought I'd be off that week, but I was wrong, the semester ends March 28, so I'll still have to go to school in the mornings and play in the afternoons.

I went to the final round of concerts for Taiwan (making my total five this year, yeah!) on December 15, sat in the front row, really close to the stage. It was the same basic show as the other three I attended, so I didn't see the need to write much about it. The special thing about this time was that friends came from all over - David, Lee Ying, and Lee Yang from Singapore; Ah Wing from Hong Kong; Elsa from Macau; Yasuyo from Japan; Johnny from Malaysia. It was great to see them all, and of course there was a lot of good food involved. After the show, Charlene, Ah Wing, Yasuyo, and I went out for dim sum, and we called Nat to come join us. She is truly a great friend - she gave me a ride home afterwards so I didn't have to pay for a cab! That was a very unexpected and pleasant surprise.

Well, OK, now it's 7:30, and if I want to get that movie watched, I'd better go. Happy holidays to everyone!

Steaming Toilets

A quote from funny friend Cheryl's latest dispatch from Hong Kong:

"you know it's hot when the toilet bowl is steaming. yes indeedy, when you flush the toilet here, steam comes out. the water in the pipes is that hot. silver lining: you get your toilet bowl and your ass steam-cleaned for free."

And here in Taiwan, you feel a blast of heat when you raise the lid. Haven't quite noticed steam upon flushing, though. Suffice it to say that it's demmed hot.

I've spent the foregoing week on holiday from school, and as expected, bored out of my mind for the most part. What's the use of time off when it's too hot outside to have fun? I did manage to read the new (and final) Harry Potter book, but that only took up about 9 or 10 hours total. This was a long-awaited book, and it was over far too quickly. I was left with a bit of a sad feeling that the Harry Potter tales are now over. Gosh, couldn't Rowling have dragged them on for a few more years? How could she end them so abruptly??? Nine years of my life with Harry, watching him and his friends grow up, and now no more. Phooey.

I've also been reading Japanse author Haruki Murakami's (村上春樹) excellent novel, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (發條鳥年代記). If you've never read his books, run right out and buy one now. I know, I've only read Kafka on the Shore and this one, but that's enough for me to know that all of his works are marvelous. I have to thank Wu Bai for allowing me to discover this author, because the only reason I bought Kafka was that I knew that Wu Bai's favorite author was Murakami. Not all of his novels have been translated into English, but I fully intend to read everything that is, providing I can find them at decent prices, which ain't easy.

And I went into town (read: Taipei) twice, for language exchange and teaching, but the rest of my time has been spent loafing around the house, with only brief forays to nearby shops for victuals and the weekend beer, fans and/or air conditioner at full blast, computing, reading, and watching movies. I watched Arthur and the Minimoys, Death Note and its sequel Death Note: The Last Name, Night at the Museum, Curse of the Golden Flower, Monsoon Wedding, Lady in the Water, 300, and most of Devdas. While none of these flicks sucked, none rate glowing reviews, either. The least enjoyable was probably Lady in the Water, which I found simply too far-fetched and weird. It borders on sucks without actually falling completely over into it. Night at the Museum was better than expected, with some pretty funny scenarios (loved the "throw the bone" dinosaur skeleton); Curse of the Golden Flower was a feast for the eye with its incredibly lavish sets and inspired in me a desire to learn more about the Tang Dynasty; Death Note featured two quite adorable young Japanese actors who weigh about 121 pounds (or less) sopping wet, along with a couple of well-animated Death Gods for laughs (and let me tell ya, I'm on Kira's side all the way); 300 took liberties with history that made the Persians out to be right weird folks and had me wondering if all those buff guys were weighing body suits or were really that buff; and Monsoon Wedding and Devdas are the usual fun-filled Indian movies that pair comedy and tragedy so well. Arthur and the Minimoys....I need to re-watch this in the Chinese dubbed version, because Wu Bai was one of the dubbers. Don't know which part he dubbed, don't really care, just like hearing his voice. Cute movie, anyway, and I hope to see lovely little Minimoys hanging around in the garden someday.

I haven't neglected my Chinese this week, either. I've read the next lesson, practiced writing the new characters, looked them all up in the dictionary, and have started typing my compilation of synonomous grammar (jeez, how many ways can you say "if"???) that I hope will be helpful as I write compositions. I still have no idea who my teacher next semester is, but I sure hope it's not the dragon lady the students who were switching to an 8:00 class were afraid they'd be stuck with. I'd rather end up with the not-so-lively Chen Laoshi, whom I had for one week in February, than this fearful woman who seems to enjoy yelling at the students in class. I'll be the only girl in class this semester, and I don't like that. I'll miss my female classmates and am not looking forward to having to Westerners in my class, especially since one is a friend's ex-boyfriend.....

Poor DZ, she's also much too warm these days. She tries to find a cool place to sleep on the tile floor or waits for me to go into the living room and turn the fan on so she can lay in front of it on the coffee table. I gave her a bath last weekend, hoping to cool her off and clean her up in one swell foop, and I got hate glares from her the rest of the day. But damn, she was filthy. Even though she doesn't go outside, the crap that blows into the house is pretty bad. For months they've been slowly digging away at the little hillside next to my building, and every day dirt is coming in through the open windows. I should probably get myself a few air filters to put around the house, but that's money I don't want to spend.

How's the diet coming along, you ask? Well, it's not. I was so pissed last Saturday when I found that a half a kilo had come back, and I'd been darned good all week! I'd walked, eaten sensibly, hadn't pigged out, and still I gained some back. Well, that just made me feel less like being good this week, and I haven't. I didn't gain back any more, but I didn't re-lose that half kilo, either. I'm going to try to force myself to walk a lot this next week, even if it's 108 degress outside (you know, we had the hottest day in July in 80 years last week or the week before - global warming, ya think?). I'm not giving up this fight!

I'll be back next weekend with more of this exciting report from Isle de Formosa!

Jeez, two weeks just vanished

Seems like only yesterday I was here with an update, but it's been two weeks! Whoa. One day just blends into another and flashes by at the speed of light.

Well, I'm in my third semester at school, and happily back with my first teacher, Wang Laoshi. I love her, she's just so much fun. And the book is way simple, much easier than the last one! This one is called, "Chinese Moral Tales" and it's like Aesop's Fables for Chinese folks. Even though we're only on lesson one, I've already read up through lesson 5, piece of cake. Which hopefully means a good report card. :)

Speaking of which, I got either a 92 or 93 on last semester's! Deng Laoshi said she can't remember which grade it was, but it's great. Wang Laoshi said it's kind of an unwritten rule that the teachers don't give out grades above 93. Yup, I'm way happy about that, and I hope next time I apply for a scholarship I get it (that will be in June).

Here's what I'm not happy about: Those two days of concerts I wrote about last time? Well, the first thing to piss everyone off was the price of the tickets changing and getting higher. And then yesterday, they suddenly announced that there would be no Sunday show, only Saturday! WTF? Charlene had already bought our tickets for Sunday, in the standing rock area, last week at the Tai Ke concert and had gotten them autographed. We bought seated tix for Saturday since we didn't have anyone who could queue in line, figured we'd do that Sunday. Fuck. So now Charlene has to scramble around and change tickets. At least they're going to return the signed tickets to us after the concert is finished, which is nice. But we gotta give 'em back first. Thankfully Tona and David from Singapore were coming on Saturday anyway, but poor Sharrie from southern Taiwan might not be able to come on Saturday due to work. This is really inconveniencing a lot of people.

And because so many people were on the message board at the official site complaining about this, mysteriously that board is now closed, with a message that it's just not up to today's Internet standards and that they'll be giving us a new one after the concerts. Bullshit. You think we're stupid enough to believe that? If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. What kind of idiots are running Moonlight Music anyway?

Tomorrow we're going to see ABS at The Wall, and that should be fun, despite the fact that they have a new owner who seems to think that raising the price of beer to $6US per bottle is a good idea - and using a smaller bottle, too! Yeah, right, Bud, we're gonna drink a lot of that beer. Pfffttt. If I'm thirsty, I'll pop outside, run to 7-11, buy a can of beer for $1US, guzzle it down, and go back to the show.

I started a diet on May 1, not a super-strict one, but more focused on not buying beer and chips and eating more fruits and veggies. It's working, because I've lost about 4 pounds. I'm hoping once my poor foot is better that I'll be able to do a little more exercise and get the weight off faster. I'm truly sick of the way I look, and the clothes I bought last year in the US are almost too small for me. I spent so much time and worked so hard to lose 50 pounds before, and now 30 of those pounds are back. Not good. I decided this is something I need to do for myself, and so I'm doing it. Because it's Friday, I bought two cans of beer and some chips today, and that was my dinner. Tomorrow it's back to being careful. Even though I'll go out to eat with the gang before the show, I'll still be somewhat good. And at those high beer prices, no worries about drinking too much of that! I think this is when I start missing Hiyoshi - not missing the guy but missing having a person to hang out with and walk, walk, walk. I haven't really met any new friends at school.

But my good friend Kayun called today from Korea! She and Luke had their Korean wedding, and next Saturday they will have their Japanese wedding. She sounded so happy. Gosh, I miss her. But I'm sure saving money on my cell phone bill by not having her around, ha. If I can't get to Japan to visit them this year, maybe next year.

And as for the noisy monsters upstairs, recently it's been much better (except tonight they were doing something earlier that sounded like dropping 50-pound weights repeatedly on the floor. I truly hate those kids.). I think maybe the family on the third floor had another chat with them about the way they bother all of us, so now they're being quiet, yay. However......now there are barking dogs! Last Saturday night at 2:30 a.m., the dog in the apartment across the street from my bedroom started in, yap yap yap. Small dog, one of those annoying yappers. I got up, slammed the windows shut, and turn the fan on to a higher speed to drown it out. Then this week, on Tuesday night, it started in at 5:30 p.m. and kept it up constantly until 10:00 p.m.! I suppose the owners were gone, otherwise they would also have been driven to distraction. Then on Wednesday night, another yapper on the opposite side of the building began barking at 8:00 and kept it up until after 9:00. Obviously the owners had stuck it outside and then proceeded to ignore it. I mean, ke-rist, why have a dog if you're going to treat it like that? I'll bet it's the same one I saw one day as I walked to the MRT station. It was a hot, sunny day, and this poor little white dog was stuck in a tiny metal cage barely bigger than itself, no food, no water, placed on top of the trunk of a car in full sun. Jesus, people, have you no brains in your heads? Do you not realize how easy it would be for the little thing to die? If I see that again, I'm tracking down the owner and giving him or her a piece of my mind. And if they let the dog bark for hours again, I'm calling the cops.

The other night DZ was at the kitchen door, the one that goes out to the balcony. She was just sitting there watching something for the longest time, so I went over to see. Ah, a cockroach. A big cockroach. I opened the door, and she dashed out, but the bug was too quick for her and ran behind something where she couldn't get it. She kept trying to figure out how to get it, so funny. Finally, I made her come back in, but she stayed at the door and kept meowing. Eventually I let her out again, then I moved stuff around so the bug would run, and she missed it again. I didn't want it to get inside (the screen door doesn't always stay completely shut, sometimes there's a gap), so I closed the inner door. Poor DZ, she really wanted that thing. Now every night she goes out looking for it. I tried taking her outside again the other day, but she was completely freaked and wanted to go back in. She likes to jump up on the shelf on the balcony and watch the birds and such, but she doesn't like that big blue sky over her head. Now she's curled up in a box in the computer room, waiting for me to finish so I'll play with her. So, I'll go now. Catch ya'll later.

By Special Request

Scenic requested a picture of Little Miss Jealous, DZ, so here's one of her along with the object of her jealousy (and one of the few posters that she hasn't been able to mangle). More photos can be found at my pbase site: DZ Da Krazy Kat

She loves getting up on the back of the office chair. However, since her spaying she's getting a little fat, and one of these days when she jumps up there, she's going to go ass over teakettle along with the chair!

Disheartening news: my nextdoor neighbor may be right. Last night there was definitely at least one of the kids home and making noise until after midnight. Granted, it was much quieter than usual, but they were there. Was it all just a cruel April Fools Day joke? Could that little girl from the third floor actually be so dense that she thought I was talking about a family that has already been gone for a long time? Why must I suffer so????

Death Wish

My cat apparently desires to die. You remember back on January 23 I wrote about coming home to find that she'd clawed my Li Hai concert poster? Well, what I didn't write was that the very next day she did the same thing, but this time she totally destroyed the poster, as well as tearing up corners of two other ones. I didn't get a photo of the destroyed one.

I was so pissed at her, and her butt got beat hard. I ended up completely rearranging the dining room and kitchen, moving the cabinet she'd jumped onto into the kitchen and making it impossible for her to to reach those three posters (Charlene gave me a new Li Hai concert poster to replace the destroyed one). So what does the little shit do? She jumps up onto the cabinet in its new location in the kitchen next to the fridge, up onto the fridge, and proceeds to rip my Wild Day Out poster, which is irreplaceable! Again, the butt is beaten, and this time she's tossed onto the balcony, where she stays without food for about five hours. Did that stop her? No, the next night she was back up there, again ripping the poster in the same place I'd taped it. Another beating, and no food, exiled to the balcony. But wait - this cat is so stubborn that she did it yet a third time! And each time she knows she's wrong, because as soon as I wake up, she runs and hides because she knows I'll find out.

OK, fine, I took the poster down and moved it to a wall with no access to save us both some grief, and we have a couple of days of no trouble. Until this morning.



I walked into the living room to find my Two-Faced Man remix poster with one corner detached from the wall and claw marks. That little shit! She jumped up onto the TV stand and from there up onto the shelves that go along the top, then up onto the bookcase and across to the little DVD rack and got my poster! What the fuck is she doing? Why is she on a mission to destroy every one of my posters? Then in the bedroom I find that she'd gotten to the Two-Faced Man poster over my bed, who knows when. She'd already long ago torn up the corner of the DNA Lounge poster that Carol sent me, but she's been working on it even more lately.

So, I guess DZ will no longer be allowed in my bedroom at night. She's already banished from there and my office during the day when I'm not home, because she destroys things. Her world is getting smaller and smaller, and soon she'll find that the balcony is all she has. I'm moving everything I can, but it seems almost impossible to keep things out of her reach. She jumps up onto every cabinet all the time (I find her footprints, so I know), and no matter how much I spank her - even using the toilet brush! - she keeps going back and doing the same things, knowing that she will get in trouble for it. I have never in my life seen such a stubborn cat.

Anyone want a cat?

Finally, Something to Write About!

There's a Chinese saying 舊的不去﹐新的不來 - if the old doesn't go, the new doesn't come. Well, in the case of English students it appears to be true.

Today I was on the MRT on my way home when my phone rang. It wasn't a number I have programmed into the phone, so I thought it might be one of the girls Ye Ying gave my number to, a couple of prospective students. I answered (in Chinese, of course), "Hello?" A man's voice replied (the whole conversation takes place in Chinese), "Hi, is this Marla?" As I said yes, I was thinking maybe it was Kitty's brother or father calling me with an update on her whereabouts, which would sure be nice. But it wasn't. To my profound surprise, the voice said, "Hi, it's Xiao Zhu." A couple seconds of silence while I processed this information. Xiao Zhu? Wu Bai's bass player Xiao Zhu? Huh? OK, a phone call from Dino would not be totally unexpected, but Xiao Zhu?? Wah.... When I recovered my wits, I asked him how on earth he could be calling me.

It appears that Xiao Zhu's thirteen-year-old son, Vincent, is in need of someone to speak English with him, as there is no one at home who can do this, therefore he's not making much progress in his lessons. Xiao Zhu knows that I taught Guoxi English, so I guess he asked Dino for my number so he could see if I was interested in teaching his son. I told him of course I would do it, as it would be very convenient, living so close to them as I do. I'm even giving him a huge discount, because a hot (and I'm referring to his skill, not his looks, although he certainly is a cutie) bass player like Xiao Zhu deserves it. So, in a couple of weeks, on Saturday, I'll start working with Vincent.

I'm wondering how I'm going to feel about Xiao Zhu seeing my apartment, with posters and photos of Wu Bai all over the place. I think perhaps I might be just a teeny bit embarrassed about that! What can I say? I'm a fan....not just of Wu Bai, but of the whole band. It's just that photos of the rest of the guys are few and far between.

And speaking of these posters, DZ lost one of her lives this afternoon after I discovered she'd jumped up onto the cabinet, on top of the little oven, and had shredded one side of my Li Hai concert poster! That little shit, the worst she can do is fuck around with my Wu Bai stuff. Last week I found another poster from above the same cabinet on the ground when I came home, but I assumed the sticky stuff had just worn out and that it had fallen down. Now I know she'd been up there playing with it. Perhaps after her spanking today she'll think twice about jumping up there next time. She's going to find herself shut up on the balcony while I'm in school if she keeps this up.

Merry Christmas!

Hallo everyone! I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas, and of course a very Happy New Year. As happy as I am here, I do miss my friends back in the US, and I'm sorry I can't share the holiday cheer with you in person.

I'm also sorry I haven't been writing much lately, but there just hasn't been anything to tell. I've been going to school every day, doing lots of studying and homework, doing language exchange two days a week, and spending some time with my friend Kayun, who will be leaving in January to go back to Korea. I'm going to miss her a lot, so I'm taking advantage of what little time she has left here in Taiwan. My three-day-a-week student, Kitty, is in China this month, so I'm only teaching Funck on Wednesday evenings, not making any money at all :( Boo hoo. I don't want to find new students, though, because I need my own time to study. Jennifer, the three-hours-on-Sunday student, should start up again in January, and Kitty will (hopefully) be done with her family's business stuff in China and be back in January, too.

Tomorrow I'm having a Christmas party, starting at 2:00 p.m. and going on until we get tired of partying. I really don't know how many people will show up, maybe only a few, but I made tiramisu for the first time ever, and I have a Kahlua cake, too. I discovered that it's danged expensive to make tiramisu in Taiwan. The savoiardi cost me $6US, the mascarpone cost $9, and the amaretto (should probably have gotten cognac, but I'll drink amaretto as a drink and I won't drink brandy, so cognac it is) was $16. Of course, that bottle should make quite a few batches of tiramisu :) I hope it tastes good, because I didn't spend the $18 for real Italian espresso like the recipe said I should use. I just used plain old Barista Seattle Espresso blend. The recipe was cute, it actually says: Make the espresso and poor it into shallow flat-bottomed bowl. Add one shot of cognac, one teaspoon cocoa, and allow to cool to room temperature. If at this point you've decided to use coffee instead of espresso, take the coffee you've made and drink it. Then make espresso.

I just made some spaghetti sauce, too, not real sauce, just using Classico jarred stuff (it's really not too bad) and adding ground beef, onions, loads of garlic, mushrooms, green pepper, and red wine. However.....I have a feeling that bottle of red wine made the change to something resembling vinegar over the last 10 months that it's been in my fridge. The sauce smells a little strange, and it doesn't taste quite right. Oops, guess next time I'd better taste the wine before dumping it in. It's edible, though, just not super great, bit of a tart tang to it. Good thing I was only making it for me and not to serve at the party!

Let's see, anything else? Well, DZ has gotten a bit chubby since her operation. I guess it's partially being spayed and partially bulking up for winter. Not that we actually have winter.....the temperature has been quite nice, around 68-75 during the day, but a bit chilly at night. It's still not as cold as last year was, and some days I don't even wear my jacket in the afternoons. The Taiwan folks are all bundled up in ski jackets, and I'm in shirtsleeves. They must think I'm nuts. But I have a nice big layer of fat to keep me warm, and they don't.

The Taiwan postal service is pretty good. My dad sent a Christmas card, and he didn't write my actual street on the envelope, but they found me anyway. Probably not that many foreigners living in Zhuwei, they could figure out the street from the alley and lane numbers.

Last week I had a notice in my box that I had a parcel at the post office. I was all excited, thinking "Christmas present!" so I headed to Danshui Sunday morning to pick it up (yeah, they're open on Sunday, can you believe it?). The weather was beautiful, so I walked along the river to the post office. Sadly, it was not a Christmas present. It was a free gift from Hinet for upgrading my ADSL service. Unfortunately, it was a handy little device to help one learn English. Not exactly what I need. I think I'll give it to one of my friends - regift!

Yesterday I needed to apply for the next semester of school in order to get my visa extension. My visa is only good until January 2, so I have to go to the police station next week for sure. The school told me I had to wait until 12/21 to apply, so in the morning I picked up the forms. The assistants at this school aren't nearly as friendly and helpful as the gals at CLD were. The one who gave me the forms yesterday never smiles at all, always looks like she's sucking on a lemon. I told her I'd bring the forms back in the afternoon, so Ye Ying and I stopped at the counter after lunch, before our language exchange. That little bitch looked at my form and said, "The teacher needs to fill out this part." Well, you twit, why the hell didn't you tell me that this morning??? It was too late to catch my teacher, she was teaching another class, so I had to wait for this morning. Now I have to wait until Wednesday to get the confirmation letter from the school. That's just cutting it too close for me, and there had better not be any problems, or I'm gonna strangle that twerp.

I guess I've rambled enough now. Again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

My Cat is Weird

Most cats (hell, most animals) drink by placing their mouths close to the bowl of water and then lapping it up. Not DZ. She is such a bizarre cat. She walks up to her bowl, sticks her paw in the water, and then licks the water off her paw. Now I know why her water gets dirty so quickly!

After I take a shower, she'll often go into the bathroom and start lapping the water off the little stand I have in the corner of the shower. I find this very odd, because this water usually has soap suds in it. And for a cat who loathes being bathed, she doesn't seem to mind padding around in the puddles on the floor in the bathroom (remember, I shower directly on the tile floor) and then tracking footprints into the bedroom.

She doesn't like people food, either. Every time I'm slicing cheese in the kitchen, she'll come over, start meowing, and stand up on her hind legs like she's begging for some. But, if I give her a piece of cheese, she just sniffs at it and walks away. Ditto for ham. So far I haven't found any food that she'll eat, other than her canned and dry cat food. She won't even drink milk. This just isn't normal behavior for a cat!

Lately she's taken to jumping way up onto the wardrobe in my bedroom late at night. I store some empty boxes up there, and the first time I found one of the smaller ones in the laundry basket, I thought maybe there'd been an earthquake that knocked it down. Then one night I was awakened by strange noises. When I got up, DZ jumped down from the wardrobe, onto the smaller dresser next to it, and to the floor. She'd been up there banging around. She did it again the other night, once more knocking the small box into the laundry basket. Who would have imagined that she'd be able to get up that high? Or even want to!

A couple of days ago she was hanging out in my bedroom while I was getting showered and dressed. Normally she just lies on the bed, snoozing, but this time she crawled inside the pillowcase on my pillow and went to sleep.

Like I said, she's weird.

I Can Never Wash This Hand Again

Well, folks, yesterday was the big day, the day I stood right in front of Wu Bai for the first time in the over five years that I've been a fan.

Autograph Session Photos

The autograph session was held in a little plaza across the street from the new MRT station at Fu Zhong. Charlene and I got there at 11:30 a.m. to get in the line, joining Ah Ci and Xiao Niu. Caroline came later, after she was through with her class, and Nat showed up late, too, which meant going to the end of the line, since we'd all been given consecutive numbers and no one could cut in. Didn't matter that we weren't right at the front this time, though. The session was due to start at 2:00, so we just chatted and watched the sun slowly eating the shade we were in. By the time 2:00 came around, we were all in full sun, and it was hot.

The guys performed a few songs before starting the signing, and that was cool. Have a look at this video one fan uploaded to YouTube: WuBai's "Flower" Dance

I wasn't able to get super close to the stage, and there was a really tall guy in front of me and Caroline, so I had to keep moving around to try to see. I attempted to take a video, but lame-brain apparently had her camera on the wrong setting, so all I got was a photo of Wu Bai's backside. Eh.

After the mini-concert, the signing began. I had wanted my lyrics booklet signed, since the only pix of China Blue are inside that. But no, The Powers That Be had decreed that the only thing that could be signed was the outside box of the CD, nothing else. No posters, no scrapbooks, no photos, nothing. One CD per person, thank you very much, and please move along quickly, don't ask to take photos with Wu Bai because you know he's so shy, yada yada yada.

As I climbed up on the stage with CD in hand, Charlene tugged my arm. I turned to find a girl with a video camera by my side, wanting to shoot my tattooed ankle. Oh great, just what I want. I told her it wasn't finished, that I still needed to get "and China Blue" added to the 伍佰. Then she ran the camera up my body - crap! I hate, hate, hate having photos of myself taken, not to mention a video camera in my hot, sweaty face! I guess the novelty of having a foreign fan who's this crazy about Wu Bai & China Blue hasn't quite worn off yet.

I bantered a few words with Dino, who was on the end of the table closest to me. Then came Da Mao, who greeted me with a big smile and a "nice to see you" in English, then Xiao Zhu, who calls me 老師 (teacher) since they know I'm Guoxi's English tutor. I asked him if his English was improving and he laughed, saying it was non-existent. I love these guys!

Then the moment I'd been anticipating and half-dreading: face to face with Wu Bai. I was so worried he'd say something in Chinese that I wouldn't understand, because I still have this problem of not understanding when people talk to me sometimes. I managed to squeak out, "Over five years, and I'm finally standing here." in Chinese. He then shocked me completely by asking what my name was. I mean, dude, how many foreigner fans do you have who queue in line for days to stand right in front of you at concerts? And I'm pretty sure your mom must have mentioned me to you a few times, hm? So, my tone of voice when I said, "I'm Ma La!" was a bit incredulous. However, he didn't hesitate at all when writing "To 瑪拉" on the CD, and since there are quite a few ways you could actually write those sounds and he knew the correct one, I eventually convinced myself that he was probably just making 100% sure I was who he thought I was (you know, we white folks all look alike, and I'm not blonde like I used to be, got red hair now). Then he asked me where I lived. What, not gonna ask for my phone number? No, I guess with the guard dog (i.e., wife) standing at his back that wouldn't have been a good idea. ;) And then I got the beaming smile (damn him for hiding his eyes behind those ridiculous sunglasses) and the handshake. Awwwwww. Later, as I checked other fans' CDs, I saw that no one else had a personalized one, so I felt kinda special. Of course, there might have been some that I didn't see, but still. He wrote my name .

We waited around for Nat and Xiao Niu to get through the line, then decided we'd stay until the end just in case they were going to perform again. Caroline hadn't gotten her CD signed, so at the last minute she decided to go up at the tail end of the line, and I went along with her, taking another CD with me. Dino laughed when he saw me again, and I think Wu Bai was a little surprised, too. Well, that look on his face could have been leftover from seeing Caroline's ample bosom in the low-cut tank top, ha. I'll bet all the guys appreciated that! If she had been wearing a nurse's uniform, she would have made Wu Bai's day. You know he has some weird obsession with women in nurse's uniforms, don't you? Well, you do now.

So, how do I feel about finally touching the man I think is the most beautiful creature on Earth? Well.....it's weird. I don't know if I expected sparks or something, but it was so very ordinary, no pounding heart, no drool escaping down my chin. Perhaps it was just the quickness of the whole thing, a few fleeting seconds of contact. I get more of an afterglow and a high at the end of a concert! I can't say it was a letdown or anything, but it certainly wasn't what I'd imagined it would be. On some level that soothes me, makes me know that I'm not so caught up in a fantasy that I can't see reality. I think I'm sort of happy that I felt so comfortable in front of him, not really nervous, just as natural as I am with Dino, Xiao Zhu, and Da Mao. I think that means that Wu Bai is the sort of person I could be friends with. Despite the way his management wants to promote him as the "Emperor of Rock," he didn't give off those "I'm so much better than you." vibes, and watching him as he signed CD after CD, smiling at his fans, sharing a few words with them, just made me happy all over.

OK, right then, now I need to tell you how much friggin' trouble it was to get a visa.

The whole fiasco of getting a health exam done could take up pages. Let's just say that it wasn't easy, and I ended up making three trips to the hospital before I managed to get it done. I had my letter of enrollment from the school, I had my letter from my Taiwan bank stating that I had almost twice the required amount of cash to support myself during my study, I had my visa application completed with photos attached, I had my letter explaining why I was studying Chinese and why I didn't need to work because I had the money from selling my house to support me for years to come. I was ready.

Got to Hong Kong on a late flight on Monday the 30th, after dropping DZ off at the vet for boarding and spaying. By the time the airport bus got me to Tai Po and Terry and Cheryl picked me up, it was close to midnight. Thank goodness for friends who are willing to go out of their way for me! Stayed up chatting with Cheryl, who was off work that week, but Terry had to hit the sack.

Tuesday Cheryl and I headed over to Hong Kong island so I could apply for the visa. Found the visa office, after getting off on the wrong floor and a bit of slight panic when the office was not there, and there was no one waiting. Cool. Got right up to the lady and handed her all my stuff. Then she asked for my driver's license from the US. Uh....I don't have it with me. I don't drive in Taiwan.

Her: "But you need to have proof of your US address."
Me: "But, I moved and don't even have the same address as on my license." (I'm using my dad's address as my US one since I sold my house.)
Her: "It's one of the requirements. Where are your bank statements?"
Me: "What? I have the letter from the bank showing how much is in there."
Her: "That's not enough. Do you have your bankbook?"
Me: "Yeah, here. Most of my money is still in my US bank."
Her: "Can you bring a bank statement?"
Me: "Well, yeah, I can print it from the website this evening."
Her: "Fine, bring that back tomorrow. And since you have the same US address written on your HK immigration form and inside your passport, we'll take that."
Me: "OK, thanks.

Wah! Stupid, I was so stupid. I completely missed the "proof of residence" on the instructions, because I got sidetracked by the "HK ID photocopy not required for non-Hong Kong residents." That was an idiotic thing. But the bank thing? I thought I had that covered.

Back at Cheryl's that evening I printed my last statement. Then I decided to print the prior two months, just in case. Good thing, because when I went back on Wednesday and said I'd brought the statement they wanted, the lady asked me if I had three months' worth! Then she told me to wait. So, Cheryl and I waited. And waited. And waited.

Eventually, a door opened and a woman called me in to a little room. Then the third degree commenced. Why haven't you been in school since the end of May? I had to explain about my prior school saying they thought they could work out their problems, and I was hoping to be able to return there. Where does your money come from? Well, like I wrote in the letter, I sold my house. How much did you sell the house for? I told her how much, not that that was how much I received, but hey, she didn't ask me that. Why do you have all these daily deposits of $15,000NT or $16,000NT? Because I can only take out $500US per day from my US account, so I go get the cash, then I walk into the bank and deposit it. Just look at the bank book and compare it with my bank statements, and you'll see they're done on the say day. Duh.

Then she told me that I'd already studied Chinese for a long time, and why did I need more. Excuse me? One year of studying Chinese doesn't even scratch the surface! I told her that I want to attend university here to pursue a degree in Asian studies and language, but that right now I'd never be able to understand the instructions. Also, I have aspirations to be an interpreter, and that requires years of study! By this time my stomach was in knots, and I was sure they were going to tell me no. She even asked me why I didn't go to Mainland China. Since I wasn't sure she was actually a Taiwan national, I didn't want to tell the truth, which is, "My god, that's a communist country with zero freedom, why the hell would I go there?" So, I told the other truth, which is that Mainland China has no Wu Bai & China Blue. Guess that worked, because I did get my visa.

Now, Cheryl and I hadn't eaten yet (those cheese Ritz didn't count), and it was after 3:00 p.m. The day before we'd gone to a great Mexican restaurant called Coyote for lunch, and we knew they were having happy hour now, so we headed over for some celebratory margaritas and food. It was expensive, $289HK, which is about $37US, but it was worth it. I can't get decent Mexican food in Taiwan, and a real margarita? Sppff, no way. We then went over to Marks and Spencer, where we had quite an enjoyable time making fun of the clothes, almost as much fun as we'd had in Starbucks the day before, looking at the Elle Magazine fashion photos. Almost giggled myself off the chair a couple of times with that. Most laughable were the bras, so heavily padded for those teeny little mosquito bites that pass for breasts on so many of the Asian gals.

The rest of my Hong Kong visit was spent watching Bollywood and Korean flicks with Cheryl, interspersed with a bit of the second season of "Little Britain." Met Doris for dinner on Thursday and had some good Shanghai-style food that was pretty inexpensive. Took off early Friday morning with Terry so he could drop me at the bus stop, landed in Taiwan at 1:00 p.m. Had to go to the visa office at the airport to get the actual visa attached to my passport, and that little delay resulted in me being stuck in a crowd of Japanese tourists waiting to get through immigration. Lordy, six planes must have landed at once! It took over an hour to finally get through, and my suitcase was sitting forlornly next to the luggage carousel when I got there. Got the bus back into town, took the MRT from Yuanshan home, dropped my suitcase (which, by the way, had been damaged and now the pull handle barely works) off, and headed to the vet to get DZ.

This was DZ's first time away from home. I didn't have much choice, can't keep asking friends to travel half an hour to feed my cat, and she needed to be spayed. Vet said she was a wild bundle of claws every time he went near her, which resulted in said claws being clipped. Also, their two cats were very curious about DZ and kept going over to her cage, which agitated her, so instead of locking their cats up in their cage, the vet put newspaper over the front of DZ's cage, so she was always in the dark. Gotta tell you I'm not real happy about that. She was completely traumatized, and it wasn't easy for me to get her out of the cage. Once I got her home, she was much better, but I got a few bites from her as she let me know exactly how she felt. I have to take her back today to get the stitches out, and that's not gonna be fun. Speaking of which, I need to go, it's getting late. Outta here.

ACK!!

Don't expect to see much from me for awhile. Why, you ask?

Tomorrow I go pick up my health report (and boy, that wasn't an easy process, royal pain in the ass, should write a rant about it - but at least it only cost me $20US for the X-ray, HIV test, and the eye exam, try getting that in the States for that cheap), then go to Tamkang University to apply for classes starting 11/20. After that I head over to Core Pacific Living Mall to begin the long days of queuing in line for the two pub shows on Friday and Saturday nights. I'll get to come home in the evenings, but I probably won't feel like writing much and will likely just sit listening to the new CD over and over and over.

Next week I head to Hong Kong Monday evening so I can get my student visa. No, you can't get a visa while you're actually in Taiwan, that would be too easy. You have to leave the country to apply for a visa. I'll be back on Friday afternoon. Doesn't give me much time to hang out with friends there.

Then Sunday the 5th is the autograph session! Yippee skippy, looks as if I'll actually make it to this one. My original plan for going to Hong Kong was leave 11/3 and return 11/9, which would of course have caused me to miss this event.

November 10 is the placement test for the university, then 11/11 is the Airwaves concert, and I won a ticket, yeah!

November 19 there's another autograph session in Taichung, but I probably won't go since I'm going to the one on the 5th.

Took the cat in for her shots (5-in-1, rabies, feline peritonitis, de-worming) today, $1800NT ($54US). Taking her back on Monday to leave her for boarding ($1500NT = $45US) and spaying ($2000NT = $60US). Probably cheaper than the US but still more money than I really wanted to spend. Especially since I'm not making any money this week or next!

Bottom line: I'm gonna be busy. You'll see me when you see me.

101 Things You Don't Want Greeting You When You Wake Up in the Morning, Number 1

Yesterday I bought two five-liter bags of kitty litter. Cats use a lot of kitty litter, you know. Shopping in Taiwan isn't really all that convenient sometimes, when one has no vehicle and one must carry heavy items home. Arriving home, deposited said bags in the spare bedroom, on the floor.

DZ was apparently bored out of her little kitty mind last night, because this morning when I got up, I found both bags of litter torn to shreds and litter covering the floor in the spare bedroom. DZ, attempting to play the innocent party, was lounging on the windowsill. Not for long. I grabbed that stupid cat by the scruff of the neck and proceeded to whale on her scrawny ass with the handiest implement, an umbrella. Stupid cat. Just wanted I wanted to do, sweep up litter for the first twenty minutes of my day. Guess who didn't get any canned cat food this morning?

This afternoon I once again did some recording for the cram school who has the textbook with the abysmal English. My recording partner was one of their teachers, nice enough guy named Andy. However.....Andy doesn't seem to be able to read aloud, at least not competently. And I have a very bad feeling that Andy was the author of some of the stuff we were reading, the stuff so loaded with errors I was cringing. Yeah, Taiwan, don't give me a job teaching English, because I don't have the piece of paper that Andy has. Never mind that I very well know the difference between "here" and "hear." I can't tell you how many times we had to stop, because what was written made absolutely no sense, and I had to try to reword it to go on. I volunteered to record almost all of the long speaking passages, because it was just too painful to sit there listening to Andy trying to do it and constantly making mistakes. Does anyone care about this??

I'm leaving for Hong Kong on Friday, returning on Monday. Don't really want to go because 1) I don't need to spend money after seeing how much I put on my Visa card when in the US, 2) Hong Kong is much hotter than Taiwan right now, and 3) Cheryl and Terry will be in the US on their vacation, so I'll miss seeing them. However, the bright spot is getting to see Doris and Tommy, and that really makes it worthwhile, since they're so fun and nice. Tommy, who drives a taxi, is even going to pick me up at the airport! And Doris wants to take me to Lee Yuen Mum, which is a fishing village. Can't ask for nicer friends than that, can you? So, really, no regrets (talk to me after I experience the summer temps in Hong Kong, I might be singing a different tune).

I won't be looking forward to my next electric bill. I'll bet it will be $50US for two months (ducks for cover as folks in US who are paying exhorbitant amounts for electricity throw whatever is handy in my direction)!

Taiwan's 17th Annual Golden Melody Awards

I attended the awards ceremony yesterday, June 10, 2006, because Wu Bai had been nominated for four awards:

Best Song of the Year: Made In Taiwan
Best Taiwanese Contemporary Album: Two-Faced Man
Best Lyricist: Made In Taiwan
Best Taiwanese Male Performer: Two-Faced Man

I arrived at noon to meet up with Chun and Shun, who had arrived at 11:00 a.m. Our plan was to queue up along the red carpet to watch the stars arrive before going into the venue. Since it had been raining, Chun and Shun decided to hang out at McDonald's instead. Charlene showed up around 2:00, and by the time we walked over to the red carpet area, it was totally packed! No place up close to stand, phooey. We settled for waiting at the railing where the cars would be bringing the stars, just so Wu Bai and the band would at least be able to see us and know we were there supporting them. Since the vehicles all had blacked-out windows, we couldn't tell who was in them, so we kept trying to read the names on the clipboards the staff guys were carrying around as they checked off each arrival. We got lucky and had our guys' cars stop in front of us, and Xiao Zhu rolled his window down to say hello, as did Dino and Da Mao. I'm not sure if Wu Bai was in the same car as Xiao Zhu, since I wasn't able to see the other side, just saw Xiao Zhu sitting on the right. Check out so very cool Wu Bai on the way in: http://www.ettoday.com/newspic/1023/i1023341.jpg

Our seats were way up high and to the right of the stage, giving us a fairly good view. When we got in, Wang Leehom was performing, along with someone else. As the ceremony progressed, I got to see performances from Asia Jump, which turned out to be Taiwan star Vanness Wu (formerly of F4) and Korean star Kangta (formerly of HOT), doing a rather hot little dance routine. I never realized Vanness Wu had such a great bod. Kangta still looks like a girl to me, check their official site at http://www.kangtavanness.com/. Eason Chan, who has one of the finest voices I've heard, performed quite well, despite a news report saying he was off key (I didn't notice at all). Other performers were Jacky Cheung, dubbed the "God of Songs" in Hong Kong but who has never appealed so much to me; Se7en, a young man from Korea who is also nicely built and dances well; and Music Orz, a male/female song and dance group that was just incredible, performing a tribal-style song while decked out in feather headdresses; and MC Hotdog with Zhang something or other, who is apparently a big favorite of Wu Bai & China Blue, since they all stood up and clapped along during this performance. There were other performers as well, but I didn't know them so can't say who they were. As the cameras panned the audience, I saw Karen Mok and Gigi Leung, who had come from Hong Kong to attend. S.H.E. was there (also doing some presenting), and many other local stars. My least favorite person, Xiao S, was on stage far too much for my liking. Motherhood has not made her any less of a whore, IMO.

Wu Bai was one of the presenters, and before he'd gone up on stage for that, some crazy person had gotten ahold of his hair and done bizarre things to it. He looked rather ridiculous. Thankfully, he was back to his normal suave self when accepting his award for Best Taiwanese Male Performer. We were a bit sad that he didn't win in the other categories, but at least he got one. Every time one of his categories came up, we screamed and waved our signs, and Sharrie said she could hear us during the live TV broadcast, so I guess we done good :)

We left before the final presentations, since Wu Bai and crew were already gone. Missed seeing Wang Lee Hom get his Best Mandarin Male Singer award, oh darn. I just don't understand why he's popular.....

It was a long, long day, since I'd gotten up at 4:30 a.m., unable to sleep due to still adjusting to the time change and DZ meowing her fool head off. I got home last night after midnight, totally starved, so I ate a Pop Tart and then fell into bed. DZ again woke me up at 4:00 a.m. with her yowling, but I managed to shut her up and sleep until 7:30 a.m.

Now I have to clean house, because two weeks of DZ hair is everywhere, and I have friends coming over at 1:30 to watch some movies and chat girl-talk.

Back in the R.O.C.

So happy to be home again :) I'm exhausted, having suffered a 14 hour flight that was supposed to only be 13 hours. No clue why we landed an hour later than I expected, since we took off on time. Weird. Landed at 6:09 a.m., home by 9:00 a.m., unpacked by 11:00, showered by noon. Not bad, huh? Still got a bunch of crap on the bed to put away, though. Slept on the couch for about three hours, fitfully (see below for reason).

Frantic cat DZ refuses to believe I'm home and starts yowling when she can't actually see me. Apparently she spent the entire time I was gone hiding under the covers on the bed in the spare room, unless actively prowling the upper reaches of my shelving where she knows she's not supposed to be, breaking priceless objects like my Grandmother's liquer glasses. Grrrr.

The election will be tomorrow, thank Buddha. The noise level today has been incredible, those annoying trucks patroling the neighborhood, blasting their music and political messages, dragon dances with accompanying music, etc. OK, this is one aspect of Taiwan I loathe (but it still beats being in the US and seeing Bush on TV). Now there's a rally right outside my apartment, with the local supporters raising a ruckus, letting off fireworks, cheering, blah blah, all via loudspeaker. Does no good to close the window, so I'm just gonna go watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I picked up on DVD while in the US.